Yeah, it has been a while but now wouldn’t be a better time to post this. this will be more of a letter to myself because I’m the Girl that needs to get up. If anyone can relate, kuddos to you; join the train. 🚂
- Be real with yourself. Not everyone around you is the problem. Sometimes it’s you and that’s okay! You can be a giver, a shoulder to lean on and all that good shit but how are you when problems arise? how do you react to people when your stressed? Because me, I talk to people like I can eat them. I say everything that comes in my head, fucked up or not and think people are supposed to engage in a conversation after.. DESTINY WOULD YOU? So before we do anything let’s take a look within ourselves.
- Surround yourself around the right people. and when I say right people, I don’t mean the ones that be in the latest or got something planned every week. I mean the people that’s getting up everyday and busting they ass even when life is fucking them up. 😭 People who are resilient and determined to be somewhere GREATER! Not everyone’s definition of being successful is the same so be okay with those friends who just wanna work a 9-5 while you wanna own an empire. EVERYBODY ON THE TEAM CAN NOT DO THE SAMETHING. NOT EVERYBODY CAN SELL CLOTHES. NOT EVERYBODY CAN DO HAIR. NOT EVERYBODY WANNA DO LASHES.
- Educate yourself. God said my people shall parish from lack of knowledge and I wanna live long sis. 😭 With working and moving out my son’s grandma’s house I ain’t pick up a book in months and the first time I did it was a book about childhood trauma and I was so happy I did. Now I’m aiming to read 3-4 books A WEEK about REAL LIFE TOPICS. Shit they didn’t teach us in school or charge us to “inform” us about. Business Taxes, Credit Repair, I even got a mf book on fitness. I ain’t playing!
- Meditate, pray, listen to music for 30 minutes, read, write; whatever puts your SOUL at peace, take 30 minutes to an hour and sit and do just that. Tap in with yourself and your energy. Think about who you are, who you are becoming and everything you had to overcome to get there.. take that time to be grateful for it all.
- Practice what you preach. This one is last because this is the BIGGEST one for me. On Friday, the only mother I knew passed away. The only day I got up, did my hair, went out and pretended I was normal was the day I wrote this entry. I’ve just been in bed and telling everyone I’m tired from work but I’m tired of life. I always felt like I had more time and let’s be real, we live to prove to our parents they raised us right and I feel like that was taken from me. I’m grateful I have my real parents alive but I wasn’t able to choose my circumstances and that was who I fell asleep and woke up to yelling every morning for 20 years lol. I’m full of all these feelings, and have no outlet to express them too BUT HERE. because I know I’m not the only one. I’m always telling people, keep your head up. Pray through your circumstances because in the wilderness you will find peace but as soon as I got that call I was everywhere and forgot everything I trained myself to do. and that’s okay but the issue lies in what happens after. I would have started to lose everything because I just wanted to lay there but I got up a week later and had to force myself to feel something different. I haddd to practice everything I wrote in these entries. Because yes, I’m hurting by my situation but I began to get disgusted with myself like you really just gon lay here? yuck. girl.. get up!
and don’t forget, we deserve the same patience, love, and understanding we try to give to others. It isn’t easy and it’s not overnight but it’s better days ahead for us. 💜
Love,
Des B 🦋