What’s “self love”? 
According to a SIMPLE ASS Google Search, Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Let’s dissect that a lil. First things first, having a HIGH regard for your own well-being and happiness meaning ain’t a single soul out here who is responsible for your own happiness or to make sure you love you. Nobody is going to be able to love you the way you deserve to be loved if you don’t even love yourself. And no not that simple, I like what I see in the mirror kind of self love. The kind of love that will have you getting up early, eating right, reading the word, and reminding yourself of your strength. The kind of love that when a person does come around, whether they stay or go is solely up to them because GUESS WHAT? your self love is so GRAND, you are perfectly fine by yourself. 
Then it says self love means taking care of your OWN needs and NOT (y’all see how NOT is in all caps? yeah heavy on the NOTTTT 
) sacrificing your well-being to please others. WHEW CHILE, that’s a word right there! 
Nowhere does it say if we love ourselves and begin to really take care of us is that we acting funny. it’s not being different or being selfish. You just take care of yourself because YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS TOO. if everybody stuck w that, nobody would be in their feelings because whatever someone else does is EXTRA! and then it ends with not sacrificing your well-being to please others; Sis you can’t help your friends, family and/or man until after you make sure all of your shit is straight. It’s really that simple. They really mean don’t take from your foundation to help build somebody else’s. Focus on building your mansion so when somebody else comes along, you can put them on to building they mansion too. Self love is not easy. It looks like losing everything and everyone around you. It looks like finally having to tap in, and figure out who you really are and what you really should be doing. It looks like starting over after feeling like you did everything you could’ve.. but being strong enough to know that nothing can break you 
I'm on my self love journey now and lemme tell you once I got through the ugly (it was brief, I prayed myself right out of that babyyyy
) everything God started to do and show me was truly indescribable. I had to take some time to see who Destiny was, what I liked, what I had to change and the things I had to learn. That I had to do alone and so do you. You don’t wanna be around your family and friends dealing with your situation and bleed on them. Now you got 101 more problems that you don’t need and could have avoided by you just saying "I'm just working on me right now, it's no love lost with anybody" 
. The Bible says “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” (Psalm 62: 1-2) That means when you get selfish with where you putting your energy too, you have more time to sit in God’s light. Like the scripture says our salvation comes from him. He will be the only one there when everybody else walk away or act funny. and He's not expecting any extra shit either, He just wants you to get close to Him so he can show you what he can do. God is our fortress, he will protect us in times of adversity.. He gives us the confidence we once lost, and helps us find the strength we had all along. Through it all, He remains. He stands firm. He loves us unconditionally and with that same love we learn how we should love ourselves. We have to learn to take care of us and what we need first, then we can help others.. hell we might even inspire others to love on themselves and depend on God like we do so they can see what he can do for them too. But it starts with you first sis! 
So grab a journal or even just a piece of paper and ask who you are, and what you like. Then go deeper and write what you were doing 3, or 5 years ago and is it different from now? What changed? What didn't? Now fast forward 3, or 5 years where do you want to be in the future? What do you wanna learn in those 5 years? Write down some realistic short and long term goals and how you will work to obtain them. Tell God what you need and where you are right now. Look up some traits that you see in yourself on Google and attach "in the Bible" at the end. You'll find out that A LOT of the problems that we face today are the same exact ones people faced before. The most POWERFUL, OBEDIDENT, and FAITHFUL leaders that were used by God in the most influential ways had the most UGLIEST (and just plain ol' shiesty chile.) pasts that they were saved from. 
They had to look in and look up to the only one that can not only judge, but change them too. Study those stories, and before you know it, you'll see the same change in you.
Anddd if you happen to forget, ALEXA PLAY "Jhene Aiko- Speak" !!! 
Say what you want my love, BE WHO YOU WANNA BE 
! And listen to our good sis preaching on the trackkkk! 
Love,
Des B 